I’m all up in my feelings this morning and I don’t know how to shake it.
I went on a wonderful interview yesterday afternoon. A job I would love, a woman who seemed extremely nice, genuine, and a lot of fun, and a pay increase. She told me on the spot she’d be bringing me in for a second interview. I left on Cloud 9. I woke up this morning to a “thank you but no thank you” for a job I really Really REALLY wanted. It was in my field, I had all the skills and qualifications they asked for as well as specialized education and I never even got an interview. Not even an interview. At that point I dropped to Cloud 2.
All of the jobs I’ve really wanted and felt like were perfect matches for me are the ones I don’t get. The interviews where we sit and laugh and talk about food and fashion. Don’t get those. The ones that are stiff and boring. I always snag those. Problem is those jobs are the ones that I never want. Yes, I’m an administrative assistant but I don’t wanna be. I have skills above and beyond, I always end up doing all of the work of the person I support but I can never seem to move into that position.
I try not to focus on the title but more on how satisfied I feel but sometimes I get down in the dumps about it all. I worked hard to go back to school and get my degree and racked up tons of student loan debt in the process. I don’t feel like it’s been worth it. In my last position I was indeed nurtured and supported. They loved me and let me take on projects and tasks. Some of those projects were very important ones. The future of the school depended on what I did. They paid for my 1st year of grad school. At the end of the day though, I was just an administrative assistant, with the matching salary battling for .50 more every year. Now I have a better title but a job I absolutely hate. The receptionist does more work than I do and my boss is a total complete azzhole. I’m literally in tears getting dressed cause I hate coming here. I know my job is a blessing and I am grateful for it. The Lord has blessed us in a million ways this year and made some of my wildest dreams come true. Work is just such a huge part of our lives though and I hate being miserable.
I’m not giving up. I’ll keep this sucky job as long as I have to but I want something different. I miss loving my job, I miss feeling like I make a difference but I also want to be compensated well and appreciated for my efforts. Is that too much ti ask?
I’ve networked, made awesome connections, have stellar references and yet I seem to be stuck. I stay current in the field, I take classes, I don’t know what else to do though. I have one more year of grad school but I’m not convinced it’s not going to be worth it either. I’m scared to get excited about this 2nd interview. I’m an optimist and get my hopes up, only to be really sad when it doesn’t come to be. Seems like I’ll always be just not good enough.
Any advice on what I can do to change my job prospects?