Good Enough?

I’m all up in my feelings this morning and I don’t know how to shake it.

I went on a wonderful interview yesterday afternoon.  A job I would love, a woman who seemed extremely nice, genuine, and a lot of fun, and a pay increase.  She told me on the spot she’d be bringing me in for a second interview.  I left on Cloud 9.  I woke up this morning to a “thank you but no thank you” for a job I really Really REALLY wanted.  It was in my field, I had all the skills and qualifications they asked for as well as specialized education and I never even got an interview.  Not even an interview.  At that point I dropped to Cloud 2.

All of the jobs I’ve really wanted and felt like were perfect matches for me are the ones I don’t get.  The interviews where we sit and laugh and talk about food and fashion.  Don’t get those.  The ones that are stiff and boring.  I always snag those. Problem is those jobs are the ones that I never want.  Yes, I’m an administrative assistant but I don’t wanna be.  I have skills above and beyond, I always end up doing all of the work of the person I support but I can never seem to move into that position.

I try not to focus on the title but more on how satisfied I feel but sometimes I get down in the dumps about it all.  I worked hard to go back to school and get my degree and racked up tons of student loan debt in the process.  I don’t feel like it’s been worth it.  In my last position I was indeed nurtured and supported.  They loved me and let me take on projects and tasks.  Some of those projects were very important ones.  The future of the school depended on what I did.  They paid for my 1st year of grad school.  At the end of the day though, I was just an administrative assistant, with the matching salary battling for .50 more every year.  Now I have a better title but a job I absolutely hate.  The receptionist does more work than I do and my boss is a total complete azzhole.  I’m literally in tears getting dressed cause I hate coming  here.  I know my job is a blessing and I am grateful for it.  The Lord has blessed us in a million ways this year and made some of my wildest dreams come true.  Work is just such a huge part of our lives though and I hate being miserable.

I’m not giving up.  I’ll keep this sucky job as long as I have to but I want something different.  I miss loving my job, I miss feeling like I make a difference but I also want to be compensated well and appreciated for my efforts.  Is that too much ti ask?

I’ve networked, made awesome connections, have stellar references and yet I seem to be stuck.  I stay current in the field, I take classes, I don’t know what else to do though.  I have one more year of grad school but I’m not convinced it’s not going to be worth it either.  I’m scared to get excited about this 2nd interview.  I’m an optimist and get my hopes up, only to be really sad when it doesn’t come to be.  Seems like I’ll always be just not good enough.

Any advice on what I can do to change my job prospects?

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4 Responses to Good Enough?

  1. Babs says:

    I don’t think you need to change your job prospects, but you do need to change your attitude. You have to remain positive.

    I have been in the exact same position as you. I can think of two jobs that were PERFECT for me that I didn’t get. I was so disappointed I cried like a baby. I thought it was the end of the world.

    In hindsight, it worked out that I didn’t get the one job because little did I know I would be having Regan and I needed a job that allowed me to be flexible, work from home and basically get away with a lot of stuff. If I had gotten the one job that never would have happened. And I would have had some travel involved which would not have been feasible once Regan came along.

    So you really just have to take on the attitude that not getting that interview was not in God’s plan. The job SEEMS like it was perfect for you, but for some reason He doesn’t want you to have it.

    I hope you feel better. xo

  2. admin says:

    Thanks Babs- sometimes we need a kick in the pants.

    Most times I’m the hopeful optimist but today I was just sad. You are right, I’m not sure what God is setting me up for. I just have to be patient and wait and see. I’m feeling better little by little.

  3. I don’t have any answers, but DO remain positive. In this job market it’s possible to be up against someone who has 800 years of experience & will work for less and that makes it all harder.

    Continue to praise the positive things happening in your life (there are MANY) and see each position you don’t get as “a reason”. There is obviously something better out there…and you will find it. You WILL.

    • admin says:

      Thank you! I am doing my best to remain positive.

      Just seems that sometimes hard work doesn’t pay off. Seems like a lot of these positions are opened up just so that the internal applicant or whomever they have in mind can apply. I understand not being selected but sometimes not even getting an interview for the exact same position in a different department at my current institution is weird. My field is pretty specialized at the moment, can’t imagine a lot of people being in the running but who knows. Houston is huge. I still have my 2nd interview this week and Monday morning I will dust myself off and get back on the job hunt grind. There is a perfect job out there for me that will fit my current life and the life I’m planning for in the coming years. Thanks for the kind words and the much needed reminder.

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